We're just completing all the paperwork necessary to file for Fabrice's K-1 visa. Once everything is submitted to immigration, we wait 6 to 8 months (or longer) for the green light. But since we have no definite idea of when his visa will be approved, we can only guess at a wedding date. Imagine telling your friends and family, "Yes I want you to come to the wedding. We just don't know when it will be." How exactly do you print a wedding invitation with the date as TBD? Or order a cake when we don't even know what month?

But despite the lack of a date, we're still talking about all the details. Neither one of us is religious or super traditional, so I think things will be simple. Of course being the girl that I am, I started planning. I had ideas for the place, the flowers, the kind of cake, the list goes on and on. But as I shared all these ideas with Fabrice, he simply shook his head. I was planning the wedding like I was the only one involved. He gently told me that he'd like me to wait until he arrives in the US because he wants to be involved in all the decisions. And suddenly I realized, it's not all about me. This is a day for the two of us, celebrating our union and declaring our love in front of friends and family.

At the ripe age of 35 (soon to be 36), I haven't really had to think about anyone else but myself. I've gotten quite good at being independent. When I need or want something, I simply do it for myself. But now I realize that's all changing. I guess I've become pretty set in my ways, but instead of resisting the change, I welcome it. Now I get to consult Fabrice when making major decisions rather than making the choices myself. Instead of thinking about me, it's we. And it feels very good.

So instead of thinking about all the tiny, minute details of wedding planning, I'm focusing on gathering the stacks and stacks of paperwork required for Fabrice's visa. But of course it doesn't stop me thinking about walking down the aisle and seeing his smiling face at the end!

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