I’ve done this once before. In 2006, I quit a fancy corporate marketing job for one of the best companies in the US to go to culinary school in Paris. At the time, it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. Looking back, it was an incredible experience and one that I will never forget. It also started me on the path that I’m currently walking.

I remember the day so clearly – the one I decided to quit my job and go to culinary school. I stayed home from work because I was incredibly stressed out about some silly marketing plan. Sitting on my couch I suddenly realized what I had to do. I needed to do something I truly loved – something where I could put all my passion and energy. I’m pretty sure once I made that decision, I cried for the next three days. I knew it was the right thing to do, but that didn’t make it any less scary.

Immediately after I made my decision, I read the following quote:

Until there is commitment, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole steam of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidence and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have some his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.

Wow. What an incredible statement. And the funny thing, it was really true. I didn’t know how I was going to just pick up everything and move to Paris. I didn’t know how I was going to pay for it. I didn’t know how I could leave a very good paying job or a condo with a mortgage. Or my cat. But… I figured it out.

But this time, everything feels different. There are many times I’ve questioned my decision. I now have a family to provide for. I have many more responsibilities. It means starting over somewhere new. It means lots of networking and hard work to find the next opportunity. And to be perfectly honest, I’m scared. Am I making the right decision? Did I just put a black mark on my name and reputation by quitting my job?

It’s funny, but I’ve never not had confidence. Lately though I feel like it has disappeared. I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself. I feel lost. Now granted I did get married and have a baby which takes both energy and sacrifice. And I’m leaving a job that my heart wasn’t in. So yeah, I guess I need to cut myself a little slack. But I feel like I’ve given so much of myself lately that I’ve forgotten who I am. I’ve forgotten how to believe in myself.

Now don’t get me wrong. I certainly don’t regret anything. I can’t imagine what it would be like without my incredible husband and sweet three-year-old. So, I’ve decided with my newly found time, I’m going to do some self care. I need to get back to who I am. I need to find and heal that part of myself that got locked in the closet. So maybe this is why I quit my job: to find myself again. To get back to the things, and jobs, that are really important to me. To find my passion. To take a leap of faith.

1 Comment  Leave a Comment