At the time, we were all focused on the food. Cooking and preparing beautiful plates was what we were taught to do. The course is designed for those who are behind the scenes in the kitchen. But what about those of us who do both? Unlike most restaurants in France, service was not included.

It didn’t really occur to me that I needed to be proficient in both cooking and serving. I learned this lesson early on when preparing the meal for an 80th birthday party. The evening was meant to be elegant and sophisticated with a stunning four course meal. But when it came to the service, I fell flat on my face.

Service should be flawless and unnoticed by the guests. But the instant someone becomes aware that they are being “served” then the service becomes obtrusive in an otherwise perfect evening. I was not prepared for this.

There are many rules when it comes to serving: always serve and take away from the right; pour white wines first, then red; serve the oldest female – except if that person is the host and then she is served last. The list goes on and on.

My meals were turning out excellent, but I felt I had a lot to learn where service is concerned. To help me in my new quest for service education, Fabrice took me to Le Meurice for lunch. This three-star Michelin restaurant is one of the best in Paris with a brilliant chef and a host of extremely polished wait staff.

In France, service is a profession not a temporary-gig-while-waiting-to-become-an-actor job. Here, waiters aspire to their jobs when they are very young. They even go through three years of hospitality school if they’re really serious. It is an art and when performed correctly can make an ordinary experience extraordinary.

We both ordered le menu degustation (the tasting menu) and sat back to watch the performance. It is really that – a performance. It’s a well-choreographed dance without a sound. But just because there are no words doesn’t mean there isn’t any communication. I slowly started to pick up on the non-verbal cues coming from the faces, bodies, and positions of each person.

When a guest returns to the bathroom, someone needs to escort them back to their table so the chair can be pulled out.  As Fabrice returned, he walked a little too quickly for the woman behind him. Once she realized this, she shot a knowing glance across the room to another woman who immediately sprang into action, meeting Fabrice just in time to pull out the chair. From my vantage point at the table, I was in awe of the flawless communication between the women. They knew exactly what to do. Click here to see photos.

Another point I took note of was actual service. When a dish is brought to the table, it arrives carried by a server on a silver tray. Because it is considered impolite to stand in front of the clients with a tray in hand, the server will circle the room until he or she is flanked by two other staff members. The wait staff remove the dishes from the tray and set them on the table. Then with an elegant flourish, the silver domes are lifted from the plates at the same moment. It makes for quite the presentation.

In addition to the servers, there are three sommeliers. They are distinguished by their red vests and ties. They make sure your glass is always half way filled with wine or water. Standing seemly passive at the wall, their eyes keenly scan each table to make sure each glass is filled to its proper level. If a glass stands empty, it’s discreetly whisked away. But if an empty glass stands on the table that has never been filled, it’s a sign the guest has ordered a glass of wine later in the meal, perhaps with dessert.

As always, service is impeccable and coordinates beautifully with the ethereal food of chef Yannick Alleno. He makes his rounds to each table, thanking the clients for their patronage in his sparkling chef whites. He is humble and kind.

Despite the fact that this meal is both my birthday and Christmas present, I have learned copious amounts. Although I will not have service as formal as Le Meurice, I will be incorporating many new techniques when I return to the US.

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