Right now I’m sitting on Madame’s balcony at 8:00 PM and it’s a lovely 95 degrees outside. I’m having a great meal of very spicy Mexican food thanks to my friends Bob, Mona and Deb who brought me a few key ingredients. (Thanks guys!) I don’t bother to wipe my face as the sweat streams down my body. There will only be more, so why bother.

Today in class I took out my thermometer to check the cooking temperature of some stuffing. I was quite surprised to learn it was a nice sweltering 90 degrees in the kitchen. The school has brought in a tiny portable air conditioner, and it’s working overtime to no avail. It’s like putting a nicely cooked steak in front of a bunch of vegetarians – it just doesn’t work. Perhaps my meat might cook faster if I left it on the counter instead of putting it in the oven.

In pastry, I actually dripped sweat from my forehead onto my cake. Perhaps it made the cake taste better, and thankfully the chef didn’t notice. My uniform in completely soaked and if I tried, I could wring out a significant amount of water from my necktie. The only place of refuge in the whole school is the demonstration room on the main floor. Thankfully it has a real live air conditioner, and we all vie for seats underneath its cooling breeze. No one sits in the front row in class anymore because it’s too close to the chef’s stove that radiates enough heat to fully cook one student in three hours. Needless to say, the chef doesn’t get much of a break either.

At night I’ve taken to sleeping with a damp towel draped over my body. It helps somewhat, but it’s a little creepy waking up in a wet bed. There are two cockroaches that have taken up residence in the refrigerator. I can’t blame them, but I really don’t want them having a nice pool party with my food. Madame is on vacation, so it’s up to me to send them to heaven.

Every night I water Madame’s flower on the balcony. They always look like they’ve taken a bath in a deep fryer since they’re practically lifeless.

But I do hear that relief is coming. No, the school isn’t installing central air (just wait until August when it’s worse they all say). It might rain tomorrow which would be quite lovely. Maybe that’s what Parisians mean when they say Paris in the summer is nice. Perhaps they’re thinking of the times when it’s not hot enough to make every pore in your body damp with perspiration. If that’s the case, then yes I can tell you. Paris really is lovely in the summer!

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